Be Careful What You Wish For...

Yesterday was a perfect example of how the universe just likes to fuck with me. This story is called "Be Careful What You Wish For In the Realm of Instant Manifestation." So while I was on holiday this past Christmas season (which for the record was only two weeks ago) on Maui - my new friend Sadie was explaining to me how Maui was the land of Instant Manifestation. Things there sort of take shape as soon as you ask for them. And after reviewing my recent experiences while there, I had to agree with Sadie. Things there just come off without effort. You ask the Universe and if you are earnest in your request - while on Maui - it'll happen. (Though I do recommend that you be really SPECIFIC in your request or you won't get quite what you're asking for.)

Right, I should get back on point.

So the point of today's story is that tendency towards instant manifestation of universal requests has seemingly followed me home with potentially disastrous results.

Yesterday afternoon while working on a project for work which was stressing me out quite a bit, I said - and I said it Out Loud which I believe was key to the issue - "I wish this job would go away." It was too stressful, the client can't make up their mind, things keep changing, they want to cut budget but keep the shots that require a lot of money to get the proper props/talent/wardrobe/etc. and in general this was turning out to look a lot like the last shoot we did for this client which ended up generally and completely fubar'ed.

So I said this silly little wish. I said it out loud. And then the phone rang. And there it went. Ten minutes after I said it, the other producer on the job called me. The message was this - the client flipped out when they saw the final budget for what they were asking. They have now decided that this is way too much money and considering the state of the economy (and apparently their own company stock), they are reworking the job. What was supposed to be a 5 day shoot with 10 prep days and 2 post days, not to mention a week long casting (do the math - that would have been 21 full working days for me plus overtime and mileage), will now be at most a 2 day shoot if it even happens. And I won't know anything until this afternoon at the earliest. This sucks. This blows. This is not a good thing.

Be careful what you wish for.

How Crucial Is It Really?

Last year, I am somewhat ashamed to say, I got sucked into this television "phenomenon" (so the powers that be called it) about a group of kniving, malicious, horrid little spoiled brats in NYC who all wear outfits that cost more money than I make in a month. I accepted that I am a weak person and I loved watching this show. It was a total and complete escape from reality and the clothes, well, okay, I would kill for a couple of those pieces. I am not the only one in this sudden fascination with a silly, badly acting teen soap opera. Apparently a number of my friends fell victim to the stupidity and I would regularly sit on my couch on Monday nights to watch Man-Bangs, Queen B and Lonely Boy and text my comments on this show to my buddy who I knew was watching as well. It enabled me to feel... well, like I was 15. Because let's face it, when I was 15 - no one dressed that well or had good hair. I was 15 in 1986 - my high school years looked like the wardrobe rejects of a John Hughes movie.

This show once gave me a piece of what I feel like I missed out on - that is being young during a decade when the worst fashion trend has been the tendency to wear big clunky shearling boots during the hottest days of summer. (Which actually doesn't look all that bad, it's just stupid.) However, I for one can no longer pretend to have the required suspension of disbelief when on this week's episode the Queen B launches a particularly cruel and silly attack on a new professor at her ridiculous Manhattan Prep School for the attrocity of (GASP) giving her a "B" on an assignment. And further that the character truly believes that the headmistress will side with her rather than her faculty in this unfair assessment of her scholastic ability.

This is the crucial moment that will cause this deluded girl to ruin her future?

Can I get an "OH PLUUEZE?" from the peanut gallery here? What was once a silly little Monday night tryst for high schoolers and those of us who wish we could have a do-over for the embarrassment of high school, has fallen to a level of stupidity only the original 90210 could match. I suppose finally, I just have to admit, that I am just too old for this crap.

XOXO
I'm out.

My Day Today...

My day hasn't even started really and already I'm in a bad mood. I'm trying desperately to snap out of it as I have a ton to do but I have a sinking feeling that this isn't going to go anywhere but worse. I have to sort through the thousands of submissions I'm going to get for a casting that I am running this week for a the photo shoot that I'm working on. There are going to be a number of ridiculous types submitting to it.

The only thing that's keeping me from chucking it all is my need to replenish my bank accounts from my holiday and the fact that I'm listening to an old friend DJ from London right now (I love internet radio.) and he has the absolute best and most expansive knowledge of music - something which I greatly appreciate. Music is necessary to keep my head level most days. Actually all days. And this day shall be no different.

Is Los Angeles Really Where I Want to Be?

Lately I've been wondering a lot about where I am in my life and where I wish I was and if this is the place for me. And I don't think that it's just come from the fact that I came home exactly 9 days ago from a three week holiday on Maui. But really - I've been in Los Angeles for going on ten years now and I have little to show for it except a huge closet full of clothes I don't wear and a number of friends who have proven to be not so much friends as aquaintances.

There's just much in my life that I feel so uncertain of. And very few things that I do feel certain of. And I suppose that's the general struggle of us all, isn't it? We're all in that state of uncertainty now and again, but the question I keep asking myself, is that if I spend more time wondering about my life and if I'm happy rather than actually living it, then isn't the answer sort of already there? And when do you finally give in to it, pack your shit and leave it all behind? Or do I just keep plugging away at it - hoping that somehow I'll figure out what will make me happy and how to do that.

Just some things I've been wondering about lately.